Fisherman Vasily has a new double boat. Funny poems about fishermen. Oleg can swim on a boat

For a third of its volume. When his friend gets into the boat instead of Vasily, it sinks to 3/8 of its volume. What is the mass of the boat? What fraction of the volume of the boat will be submerged when the fishermen board the boat together? Vasily's mass is 75 kg, the mass of his friend is 90 kg. Guest

Conclusion. If Vasily farts, the boat will sink.

Guest 4

Only 1 .

Due to what does the anchor hold the ship in one place, because its mass is negligible in comparison with the mass of the ship?

Sergei Kuksinsky 13 Source: lodochka.ua

How does an anchor hold a ship in one place?

——————————————————–

Due to the so-called. the holding force of the anchor and the elasticity of the anchor rope (chain). This is a whole science that is taught in maritime educational institutions. There are a great many anchors and it is important to choose the optimal anchor for a particular watercraft. Anchors are held not only by ships, but also by various offshore structures: platforms, floating lighthouses, buoys, floating berths, landing stages, pontoons, breakwaters, etc.

I am engaged in the construction of yacht harbors (marines) and the Mitchell screw anchor has become a discovery for me relatively recently (there was such a wonderful British engineer Alexander Mitchell, he invented this anchor in the 19th century, by the way).

The screw anchor is screwed into the bottom and has a holding force of 10-15 times more than conventional anchors. With a very small weight, size and price. For me, this is a personal anchor revolution 🙂

Andrey Mantula 373

Total 7 .

Why did the first explorers of North America use canoes?

Guest 2

Many will probably be surprised to learn that birch trees grow in the Connecticut River valley and the first Indian canoes were made of birch bark. The Indians made canoes of different sizes - a small hunting canoe was two meters long for two people, a boat for sailing on the high seas was 6 meters and even more, facts have been preserved where the canoe carried up to a hundred people.

The main advantage of the canoe design was that it was light enough to be carried by one person.

Valeria Elagina 3

It is also believed that the canoe played a role in the discovery of the Amazon. In 1541, the Spaniards, led by Pizarro, moved along the Napo River (a tributary of the upper Amazon), but the detachment did not have a sufficient number of ships, and it was impossible to move further along the coast due to impenetrable forests and swamps. Then it was decided to build a small ship and several canoes, which were built by the Indians who accompanied the detachment. After that, in December 1541, Francisco de Orellana, with soldiers and Indians, went to reconnoiter the area, the result of which was the discovery of the Amazon. SLAVA H.2

Only 2 .

There are two people and a boat

How to make it across the shore if the boat can only support one? (although two are needed) Nikita Dibrov 3 .

If suddenly after fishing
You returned early in the morning
You didn't catch anything
Because it didn't bite
And your wife asked you
Fried fish for breakfast
Don't let it bother you-
You go straight to the bedroom
And taking out your bit,
You throw it deeper.
Maybe she will eat
Your sluggish bait
And in a fit of passion he will say:
Jora fry, and the fish will be!

A worm sits on a hook
Scaring the fish, making faces.
From that - half a day fisherman
Can't catch anything.

Did you fish for trout that summer?
- Yes. And what does this have to do with it?
- That trout just called,
He says you've become a father.

Vasily got ready to go fishing in the morning,
I didn’t wake my wife (five in the morning - I felt sorry),
Quietly took fishing rods, a can of worms
And he tiptoed out of the door.

I got to the tram - suddenly a downpour with a wall,
Well, then, the fate of returning home.
“If this is the case,” the fisherman decided, “
I'd rather go back to my wife's side."

He returned and, quite satisfied with life,
He lay down, clinging to his dear back.
“Well, how is it? asked his wife half asleep.
“Sucks,” Vasily answered reasonably.

The owner is good in this weather
The dog will not be kicked out of the house."
“Look,” the wife whispered with a laugh, -
And my fool - went fishing .. "

Natasha washed her bra
And the catfish caught him,
Two squints and pike perch,
Asp and perch.
For this size ... good
Everyone calls her a fisherman.

A fisherman is afraid to go fishing.
- What are you shy about
Tell me weirdo
Doesn't fit the river
Cowardly Fedot
Ever since I heard
What the fish are biting.

… THE BIGGEST BREAM
FISHERMAN'S WIFE CAUGHT SEMYON,
WHEN I FORGOT TO WAKE HIM TO FISH.

They gave me a vacation in July,
And I asked in - January,
Because you'll cut through the hell
Hole in the summer, in the heat!

Feet in felt boots sweat,
The box floats on the water
To hell with this epic!
Give yourself a break in the New Year!

The fishermen were catching fish
And they caught cancer
They searched all day
Where is cancer .. what ....?

Satisfied with fishing is a fisherman.
Good catch on the hook:
Tin can, holey shoe,
A punctured ball and an old jacket.
Yes, yes, he was left without an ear,
But the river will say “thank you” to him.

The reservoir calmed down - at least write a picture,
The reeds jokingly rustled in silence,
And where the water shone like mica,
The float froze - neither here nor there ...

A bit to the right, where the bushes closed,
The old man fished, exclaiming: “Wow!”
And the echo lazily shook the water,
And the grandfather kept shouting: “Wow!”

I planted bread, I hooked a worm,
In fishing, I wanted to surpass the old man.
However, the float stood and stood,
No one dragged the float into the depths.

I couldn't calm my nerves
The frog carelessly gave a kick,
Imagining how grandfather, shaking his beard,
Again he takes out crucian carp from the water!

“Well, rejoice at the bite, lucky grandfather! -
I grumbled, putting the garden into my backpack,
And the crucian carp announced a boycott to me!
Such fishing and the cat will not understand ... "

I proudly walked past the bush,
As if my burden is not empty...
And so, by chance, the fisherman asked:
"Productive fishing? Are carp pecking?"

“It doesn’t bite at all,” the old man smiled,
But what a picturesque pond, look!
Well, how not to scream from such beauty?!
I love to fish at dawn. And you?"

A fisherman caught a mermaid while fishing,
But he took it and let it go.
Everything about her seemed to be
A friend, stunned, asked:
- But why? She is slim
Beautiful, what a weirdo.
The fisherman sighed, took a sip of wine,
Answered:
- Yes, but how?

Go out to the river
Take a fishing rod in hand
Drink a glass
Smoke a pipe.

And peering into the glow,
Listening to the silence
Skip the bottle
And the second one would go.

Would drink a third
For the beauty of the earth.
For the fourth - fifth,
Maybe a sixth.

And then drunk
We would fall into the water ...
We love Seryoga
Fishing and nature.

Why are all the fish silent? -
The drunk asked five times.
- Put your head in the water -
Can you say something?

A hundred year old man and a beardless guy
We fished on the lake together.
The young one is empty, but the old one
He drags minnow after minnow.

And the young man asked him: “Tell me,
You caught, well, I don’t pret.
How do you decide on bait
Or are you so lucky in life?

"Son, don't talk to me about luck.
When I wake up, I look at ... my organ.
Lies to the left - I fish for a worm,
To the right - I take the bloodworm with me.

And the young man replied: “Unfortunately,
I'm afraid your advice won't help.
Mine has a different... direction
It’s worth it, infection, as soon as I wake up a little light.

And the old man laughed as if
The young man's answer cheered him up:
"Well, if I had this in the morning,
I wouldn't go fishing."

The little boy went fishing
I caught a mermaid in the gutter...
Abandoned school, finished with the future,
The boy is fucked up by a scaly monster.

The cold of a quiet morning river...
I warm, rubbing, fists.
Fish, wake up and catch!..
Nerves tensed with excitement.

Again I catch an empty hook
A red worm is pressed in the fingers.
Squish! .. and a vertical float
A light breeze is blowing again.

Op! .. bite ... I strained my eyes,
Distracts the fool-dragonfly.
Heart skips a beat...
There is!

First.. thanks for the initiative.
How many of you are in the darkness of the depths
Hidden from distant eyes of people -
Plotochek, carp, bream?

I can do this all day alone
Feel free to sit on the beach.
At home I will fall without hind legs,
Joyful, contented, God sees.

With thoughts of rivers and ponds,
I will fall asleep with a smile on my lips.
My dreams are calm and light,
Floats dance before the eyes.

You won't find a place in our fridge
Matyl and maggot, yes dough boilies
The wife cleared the soup shelf,
In the hospital for a week: joking with dad is stupid.

Husband on the eve carefully, beautifully
In the car, put things for fishing:
A deck of cards, wine and oranges...
That's just, you bastard, I forgot my fishing rods!

Stacked exactly all the fishing rods in the box
To Rybinka in the sea! There's a real bite!
Great to catch on the last ice
Goes with bubbles six to the bottom.

Well, here comes the long-awaited summer!
I got work and got tired of everything!
Staring tours from advertising booklets -
Canaries, Bahamas, Maldives, Seychelles...

Pools and beaches, hotels — cocktails…
To hell! Not that money is a pity ...
Today I decided to give up for a week
Away - in the Ural wilderness, fishing!

And there, without a mobile and without a laptop,
On a wild lake, forgotten by people,
On spinning I will catch a huge pike!
Don't believe? No! I will not give out fishing spots!

Bonfire, pot with spring water,
Carrot, dill, fresh fish aroma…
I'll make an ear like this for dinner!
Here is a fairy tale! And you say - Maldives ...

You are a sailor, I am a sailor.
You are a fisherman, I am a fisherman.
You are on land, I am on the sea,
How did you get pregnant?

Gathered with a friend dad on the ice,
Bad people got on the train.
And the vodka is bad, in the hands of ice axes,
Two proud figures spattered with blood.

Until you wait for the bite in the morning,
There will be an ache in the back of the head.
The fisherman is accustomed without a catch,
But not familiar - without a bottle.

"Tell me out of curiosity -
I'm interested for a reason! -
How did you congratulate your husband
Happy February 23rd? -
“I bought a set of spinners
And early in the morning handed over! -
How did he accept your gift?
You said he's a fisherman
And that every weekend
Fishing is in no hurry to go home!
Probably your gift
Did that make him happy?" -
"Yes! For a long time he twisted the spinners,
Then: "What is it?" asked!”

Fishing without a bottle
As without a broom in the steam room.
I drank a whole liter of tea
I made a hole and I miss it.

"Santa Claus" came to us,
With a backpack, without a Christmas tree!
He's already frozen through.
Needles in the beard!

Hat in fish scales
And a black eye!
Drunk, tipsy
Still neighing, infection!

Mom immediately behind the rolling pin
Don't go fishing!

Grandpa came home from fishing yesterday
Mermaids in my head
He didn't fish...
Baba is shocked. How should she be?

We went fishing
The fish were fished in the pond.
Vitya caught a washcloth,
And Maxim - a frying pan.

You're lying, Tanya! What's the night club?
My husband was fishing ... he pinned me a pike.
Weight: three hundred and forty-five! Guess it's a hero!!!
Forgot to tear off the tail only the price tag, bitch!

Opening of the fishing season for many fishermen, the start was not very rosy. Imagine: a year ago you bought a rubber two-seater boat for 9999 rubles, went fishing, and on the way back you are stopped by a traffic police officer and demanded to show documents for water transport.

Of course, you didn't keep the receipt. And why, in fact, is it needed for an inflatable boat, where even the motor cannot be attached. This is practically a children's pool, you might think. And here it is not. Several Astrakhan residents who opened the fishing season have already been stopped for having a boat on the trunk.

With a similar one, for example, a week ago encountered a resident of the Trusovsky district Mikhail Berbinets. The man went fishing with his friends, and on the way back, his car was stopped by the State traffic inspectorate near the station, asking for documents for water transport. Since, for obvious reasons, they were not available (the boat was bought already in 2010), the men, along with their ships, were “invited” to the Soviet District Department of Internal Affairs.

For all fishing practice this did not happen to men. The fishermen tried everything: they told in detail how the boat appeared at their house, where they bought it, at what time of the year ... But the inflatable transport was confiscated from the Trusovites, even drawing up a protocol. However, common sense eventually took over. The boats were given away and a second protocol was immediately written, which stated that the item was returned ten days after the seizure. In general, "Watermelon" decided to look into this issue, because soon - the season of roach, and suddenly every owner of mini-boats now needs to glue a check on the windshield.

The press service of the regional Ministry of Internal Affairs we were confirmed that checks are indeed underway. But this, as it turned out, is not out of malice and envy of successful fishermen. The real reason is the increase in thefts. When another victim loses such a vessel, he writes a statement to the police, where he reports that a two-seater green boat has disappeared, and indicates only dried grass on the sides as special signs. According to such orientations, the police have to look for the loss, and, therefore, stop all the people who have a green boat tied to their car.

Independent lawyers are also of the opinion that owners of small boats not exceeding 20 meters and not accommodating 12 people should not carry a laminated sales receipt and its photocopy.

“According to the legislation of the Russian Federation, Federal Law No. 36 of the Russian Federation, Order No. 500 of the Ministry of Emergency Situations of the Russian Federation of June 29, 2005, the Code of Inland Water Transport, etc., a small vessel is a vessel whose length should not exceed 20 meters and the total number of people on which must not exceed twelve. These include, among other things, inflatable boats and catamarans. An inflatable rubber boat, the length of which does not exceed 20 meters, does not apply to small boats subject to registration. And in this case, a certificate for the right to drive a small vessel is not required. In the event of the arrest of a person who is on this type of transport on the water, or transporting him on land, the actions of the inspector can generally be qualified as robbery. The detention of a small size court that is not subject to registration should be in an exceptional case - poaching, hooligan actions, alcohol intoxication, etc. ”, — Anastasia Mantserova, lawyer.

If it is pumped over, the valves will release air or not? new boats have these valvesAlexandra Chervyakova

To be honest, I don't know at all. I personally have this one and so far everything is fine, nothing swells up: http://1lodka.ru/catalog/lodki-pod-motor-do-5-ls/. I'll just tell you this, you need to ask people who really understand this.Emelya Priveselov 5

Only 1 .

Oleg can swim in a boat?

Guest 1

Hola?
Oleg can swim in a boat. When Oleg was resting in a summer camp?, he and his friends swam in an inflatable boat.
?❤️)_______________(?_____________⭐️ Oleg Gass fan 47

Only 1 .

How many seasons will a rubber boat for 25,000 rubles last?

but1901 2

Now rubber boats are left far behind, because rubber deteriorates very quickly and is heavy in weight. In modern inflatable boats, right now, PVC (polyvinyl chloride) material is used. Therefore, the material you probably have from it, and PVC material is very durable. Manufacturers of such boats guarantee a very long period, namely more than 10 years.

I will say for myself that this spring I took an inflatable boat (about 13,000 rubles) for spring rafting Taimen N 270 RS. Very good reliable double boat:

Dmigenn 5

Total 3 .

The fisherman Vasily has a new double rubber boat. When Vasily Gets into this boat alone, it sinks into the water

Conclusion. If Vasily farts, the boat will sink.

Guest 6

Total 1

I confess, as in confession, this time I did not plan any jokes. I just wanted to fish. Two of my friends were going to Kashara by car, so I decided to take the opportunity and bring home fresh fish. We arrived at the place without incident, but we could not do without adventures on the lake.

It all started as usual. We arrived at the largest of the lakes - Belenkoye, rented a house at one of the bases, took boats from the director of the base and went fishing. However, the good morning mood was spoiled for us by the fishermen, who stood in six boats at our favorite place.

Those who fished in the spring on large lakes know that the fish try to stay close to the reeds in the morning, where the sun warms the shallow water well. We knew this, and our competitors were also well aware. The reeds from the side of the lake were simply stuffed with fishing boats. My comrades were about to take up the oars and look for other places, when suddenly an idea came to my mind. I suggested luring competitors out of the reeds.

And now it’s good in the reeds, - one of my comrades said, - it’s warm and there is no wind.
“Nothing, be patient a little longer, I hope we will change places with them soon,” I promised and proceeded to carry out my insidious plan.

Hooking the hook over the side of the boat, I pulled the rod up so that it arched in an arc.

Eat!!! I exclaimed furiously. - Vasily, there is!

My colleagues also started shouting and waving their arms. The boat rocked dangerously.

Vasily grabbed the hook and dipped it into the water. After 10-15 seconds, he threw the pickup into the boat, grabbed the oar and hit the water several times with it. After this comedy, all three of us leaned overboard, pretending to pull something huge into the boat. As soon as the imaginary shark found itself inside our ark, we began to congratulate each other and joyfully pat on the shoulders.

In less than five minutes, all six boats sailed away from the reeds and headed straight for us. One boat turned out to be with a motor, which is why it arrived earlier than the others.

Hello guys, - the owner of the motorboat greeted us, - what did you catch?
- Yes, nothing, - I answered, - it does not bite at all.
- But what are you telling me, I saw how the three of you pulled the fish into the boat.
- What kind of fish? I pretended to be surprised. - It's my hook caught on the side of the boat. Unhooked.

Despite the fact that I told the sincere truth, the fisherman from the motorboat did not believe me. He looked into our boat and saw something covered with a large raincoat.

What do you have? - he asked. - Catfish? Did you catch a fried frog? And what is a tee?
- But these are our backpacks. Covered so they don't accidentally get wet.

I didn't lie this time either, but who needs the truth? The man was offended, sailed a few meters away from us and began to throw gear. Another 20 minutes passed, and we were tightly encircled by those wishing to catch large fish.

What's there? they asked the man on the motorboat.
- Catfish, - he answered confidently, - thirty kilograms. They took a fried frog.
- Does he take catfish on top? they asked him.
- Beret. He eats everything.

We did not interfere with the fishing brothers to catch catfish and quietly sailed to their place in the reeds. Despite the fact that we finally took our favorite place, fishing did not go well. For three of us we caught two small crucians and 12 more or less decent perches. It pecked disgustingly, and the weather did not add optimism. It began to rain, and we decided to row to the shore.

I won’t come home without fish,” said Vasily, getting into the car, who did not manage to catch a single fish, of course, except for an imaginary catfish, “my wife will certainly say that I dragged myself along with my mistresses for two days. We will come to the city, I will buy a live carp at the market, and I will say that I have caught it.

That's where they stopped. Arriving in the city, we bought carp at the market and were about to go home, when suddenly a crazy idea came into my head again.

Andrei, - I began to ask, drive me around the city a little more, - okay? Very necessary. Right now, I'm just going to buy bananas.

On the way home, we reminisced about our adventure on the lake and were surprised that we could so easily fool the competing fishermen. “And if the fishermen are such gullible people, why don't we fool them a little more?” I thought.

There are several small lakes in Valuyki, where they also fish. Of course, there are no big fish there, but the main thing is not the catch, but the fishing process itself. Consequently, there are always enough men who rest on the banks of these local reservoirs with a fishing rod in their hands. It was they who were to become the victims of my next insidious plan.

I dragged my friends to the shore of one of these lakes and made them cast their lines. Then I took the purchased carp from the indignant Vasily, hooked it on the hook and unnoticed by other fishermen launched it into the water. After sitting for a few more minutes, I began to pull my fish out of the water with joyful exclamations. A two-kilogram handsome carp caught in the city pond had the same effect as the “catfish” on Belenky. The fishermen dropped their lines and came to me to look at the prey.

What are you catching? asked the most daring.
- On a banana! - I answered and showed a plastic bag with an exotic fruit, cut into thin strips.
- No, stop joking, tell the truth. For corn? Or maybe on top?
- Guys, I'm talking about a banana. I guessed that fish loves bananas ... I went fishing in the summer, sat in a boat, ate a banana - I love them very much, and threw the skin into the water. The fry immediately attacked the skin, and let's eat it. I thought, if a small fish eats a banana, then the big one will not refuse. I cut off a piece and threw it away. In five minutes I was already pulling a carp by four kilograms. I then caught 26 kilograms of fish in a day.

Yes, he is lying, - some quick-witted bearded man was indignant. He does not want to say what he caught.

The fishermen dispersed, and on the same day I visited two more city lakes and staged a similar performance there. The next day I decided to take a walk around the city lakes and see what the knights of fishing rod and float are now fishing for. The first fisherman disappointed me. He preferred traditional bait and fished for semolina. But when I approached the second fisherman, I could hardly hide my smile. Near his backpack was a jar of worms and a plastic bag with sliced bananas.

Good morning, - in a whisper, so as not to frighten the fish, I greeted, - are you biting?
- No cool. Caught one bull.
- What are you fishing for?
- On the worm.
- What is this for? I pointed to the sliced banana.

The man pretended not to hear the question.

I heard somewhere that carp bites well on a banana, - I pushed the new colleague to the conversation.
- Did you hear it too? he rejoiced. - And my godfather told me that on this lake yesterday a carp, weighing four kilograms, was caught on a banana. I think it's a fable, but what the hell is not joking, I bought a banana and abandoned it. I sit, I'm afraid to confess. I thought you'd die laughing when you heard about bananas.
“I read about bananas in some magazine,” I said. I also thought it was a lie, but here you are. Maybe try it for yourself tomorrow?

There were three more fishing enthusiasts on this lake. They also heard the story about the carp caught yesterday. True, the weight of a carp from two kilograms in their stories grew first to five, and then to seven kilograms. No one doubted that such carps are found in this reservoir, but they had some doubts about fishing for a banana. All the fishermen unanimously declared that an unknown “stray” fisherman caught a carp on some mysterious bait, but they didn’t say about a banana so that the recipe for real bait was not given out.

On another lake, the interlocutors were more interesting. Here, out of four people, three were fishing for a banana. I even managed to get acquainted with the same lucky guy who caught a carp on a banana yesterday. Talking to the "thief" who stole my laurels, I never ceased to be surprised. I saw liars, but this one misrepresented them all.

Catching carp on a banana is an old grandfather's way, - he told me, - this method is passed down from father to son in our family. My father used to catch a banana, my grandfather used to catch it and now I'm catching it.
Did your grandfather catch? I asked. - And did anyone know about bananas in those days?
- How did you not know? the fisherman was surprised. “My grandfather was not some sort of redneck. He worked as an engineer. We always had a full house of those bananas.
- And your father, where did you get bananas? I didn't lag behind. - In Soviet times, they were sold only in Moscow and Leningrad.
- Well, so what? my interlocutor did not give up. “My father was a military pilot. Every weekend he flew to Moscow in a fighter jet, and he took me into the cockpit with him. I tried my first banana at the age of three. But bananas are not the best bait. It is good for mangoes, and even better for chihuahuas.

On a chihuahua?! I exclaimed in surprise. - Why throw it in its entirety?
- Why do you kiss it, you clean it from the skin and throw it away.
- Skinning a live dog?

I imagined this executioner skinning a poor Chihuahua dog and shuddered.

What dog? I'm telling you, dunce, about a chihuahua - an African fruit. Delicious fruit. My father brought it to me from a business trip.
- So your family probably comes from Korea?

The fisherman did not understand the hint, but felt that he was not taken seriously, flared up and drove me away. I didn't deny it. I've had enough of fishing fables today, but next week I'll come back to this lake. Perhaps I will see how the carp will be poisoned by dogs here.